You know the saying “When one door closes, another one opens.”? And I am sure you also remember at least one situation, and the feeling in it, when people were trying to encourage you with this saying, and you were like ‘yeah.., but this is different …, this is hard … I do not see any new door … where are they … how long it will take … when am I going to feel better about it?’. Sounds familiar? You know it is true, that something ends, and something else begins, but usually, this shift does not happen automatically or quickly. And we are also not always entering this change feeling very enthusiastic, motivated, and inspired.
Often in this kind of shifting situation, it seems like there is quite a distance between one and the other door. We wish that hallways would be shorter, brighter, more straightforward, more crowded, or at least less alone, and not so empty. We wish there would be some more clarity, more tangibility, more hints, and more signs of where to look, where to go, how long it will take us to the next ‘door’, and what will appear next on the way. At times like this, we wish we could have a magic ball to see just a little bit further into the future so it would be easier to trust and to continue the way.
It is normal to feel a bit off in times of these ‘in-between spaces’. These are spaces where we find ourselves being out of our comfort zone, whether this happens voluntarily and intentionally, or we are in a way challenged to face it. The most advisable thing in this ‘space in between’ is to keep going, and just walking, one step at a time, keeping the head up and keeping the faith that things will turn out fine. It usually seems to be hard going through this experience, but if we look at it from a different, let’s say from a learning perspective, we might realize at least two things. First, we are all the time in some kind of ‘in-between space’ in some area of our life, and second, this ‘in-between space’ offers us a gift, a gift of a possibility, of a new beginning, of a change, and an opportunity to make a choice how to continue.
It is also important to acknowledge that these ‘in-between spaces’ are not some kind of traps that we fall into, because we are for example not careful enough, not good enough, or because we have bad luck. They are the most normal and usual things and situations in our lives. These are spaces in between relationships, different phases of a certain relationship, people, jobs, experiences, travels, challenges, emotions, feelings, thoughts, days, moments, etc. If we look at these spaces like this, they are actually a wonderful possibility to learn, to feel, to acknowledge, to create, and to live intentionally and fulfilling.
Having this in mind, we can acknowledge that each of these in-between spaces has a big potential to be our most alive, creative, possible, and valuable space and time. There is a massive potential to leverage this ‘in-between space’ just by slightly changing our perspective on how we look at things, and life situations in general. It is like becoming aware of the thought of Alexander Graham Bell, who said, ‘When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.’
For this possibility to emerge and unfold, we need to provide proper conditions in certain situations. The precondition is to allow the letting go to happen, to empty the space, to embrace this emptiness, and to be aware and present. At the same time, we should apply the ‘less is more’ principle, where simplicity and clarity lead us further step by step. We should avoid blocking this process with endlessly questioning, thinking, repeating the old patterns and already known answers, and controlling how it should develop and happen. With this less is more, but very much aware, active, and intentional approach, we create our life in many more shades, colors, flavors, textures, and layers, than we could ever before imagine it was possible. In a way, we create with this approach, a new space for us, a space of which we were not even aware, but it was there. We broaden and deepen the moment and situation, and the experience of it. We stretch our life, and our inner strength to stretch, and intentionally and actively create our next step and the possible outcome that we desire. With this approach it actually became a different kind of process, it is not just from ‘door to door’ thing, it is the whole process of constant development.
I will leave you today with a thought of Stephanie June Sorrell:
‘Trust…when reaching out into the unknown.
When there are no signs for you to follow, and no paths for you to walk.
Trust and follow your heart.’